New Perspective

It is a brand new year and the beginning of a new decade. CRAZY! Time is such a weird thing. Someone said to me the other day that I was two years past my cancer diagnosis…WOW! Let’s just ruminate on that for a second. Somehow, two years ago, I was diagnosed with cancer. Actually, my biopsy was two years ago TODAY! So much has happened since that day, not only with my disease, but with my life. It seems that even though you think you can put items on the back burner to focus on health, life is just too messy and full to really put anything down for too long. So, here’s what I know now – two years out.

You absolutely MUST be your own advocate. The doctors, nurses and med techs may see cancer patients all day, every day, this is YOUR health and you sometimes have to make them slow down and listen to your wants and needs. A friend of mine actually had a doctor tell them they could not possibly understand the details of their disease because then who would need doctors – REALLY?????
You are going to search the internet about your disease no matter what the doctors say so limit yourself to credible sources like:
1. Breastcancer.org
2. Nationalbreastcancer.org (National Breast Cancer Foundation)
3. Cancer.org (American Cancer Society)
Get a calendar, binder, dividers with pockets and organize your notes, handouts, appointments, and everything else separately from the rest of your life. Look at this like a project that you focus on when you need to.
Be vulnerable. Talk to those closest to you about the crazy feelings you have. The stuff that you know makes no sense. If you can’t share these thoughts with family or friends, journal about them.
Reach out to people you know of who had your kind of cancer. Even with breast cancer, there are so many different types that experiences, medications and treatments are very different. Finding someone who has your cancer, even if that person is a stranger at the moment, can be extremely helpful.
This is an urgent issue, but death is not imminent. I stopped EVERYTHING for about two months when I found my lump. It feels like you must race to make decisions and begin treatment. In reality, a few weeks to wait on tests and scans before you begin treatment will not make a significant difference.
Do not be embarrassed to either ask for help or refuse help. Not every one is comforted by a home cooked meal. Meal trains and care calendars make the friends of the cancer patient feel better, but do not always feel helpful to the patient. A card, note, small gift, favorite candy or gift card to favorite store or restaurant go a long way.
You will not always be consumed with worry about this. At some point you will understand that you have done all you can do and you just have to “let go and let GOD.”
Your body will be recovering from this battle for a vey long time. Some things may change for good, others will come and go. You will not be “back to normal”. Accept your new you and your new normal. You are alive, you are done with the first and most significant part of this battle, and you have greater perspective of what is important to you.

I am sure there are more nuggets of wisdom somewhere in what is left of my chemo brain. If they surface, I will share them. I have too many friends who are dealing with cancer. Too many people who are having to fight for their life rather than enjoying their kids, their comforts, their loves. I pray that some day soon, we cure this monster and get back to worrying about what color shirt goes with those salmon pants!

AND – get a puppy!